It's Fanfiction, Allen!
by Jenniferee
Summary: Allen's hiding a secret. He's writing fanfiction. Enough said.
1. you learn something new everyday

_I have to admit, the title was inspired by the cartoon Charlie Brown - you know, the one with Snoopy in it? My dad showed me all those shows, like It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! and so I guess It's Fanfiction, Allen! used the format of Charlie Brown. Credit to them._

_At first, I wanted to write a Yullen fanfic (because I love that pairing 8D), but in the end I guess this idea just came to me. Might write another DGM fic some time later._

_Anyway, this fanfiction contains outside references - Liar Game, a seinen pyschological manga, and The Lonely Island, a band (kind of) that's rather vulgar and stuff, but some of the songs are hilarious. Feel free to research either in order to understand such references in the fanfiction. However, don't worry, because they're not essential to the plot._

_Also, great thanks to Erzazel for pointing out some of my mistakes. I would consider her my DGM beta. YOU BETTER POST YOUR FANFICTION SOON! :D_

_By the way, I've decided that this story is not purely for entertainment, but also for education, in the fanfiction world. It's a guide to the fandom of Fanfiction(dot)net, and so you might learn stuff here that you need to know with relation to this website. _

_Sorry for the extremely long author's note. And with all that in mind, enjoy!_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM, Liar Game or The Lonely Island.  
><em>

* * *

><p>A small beam of moonlight weaves through the drawn curtains, and falls on the cold stone floor. Like an abandoned warehouse in a barren countryside, all is still in the room, and foreign, and silent.<p>

Suddenly. There's a low creak coming from the bed. A soft thud as a foot lands on the floor. One foot, then another. A click, then a flame bursts to life, wavering and flickering like an unsteady dandelion in a torrent. The lone figure and his candle make their way to the table that stands on three legs in the corner, on the verge of collapse. So is the chair, crooked and rotten.

He sits down, sighs. Allen picks up his pen, and bends over to collect his notebook from the floor. Flips open to a page half-written on. Pen hesitant over the paper, as if nearly scared of the endless possibilities.

"TALK TO CORPORATE! LIKE A BOSS! APPROVE-"

"Shit!" Allen swears aloud, before slapping his mouth. Probably no one's up at this unearthly hour, and he doesn't want to disturb anyone (or make them disturb him).

The music continues.

"REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS! LIKE A BOSS!"

Allen dives for the phone by his bedside, and angrily flips it open.

"WHAT!" he shouts, before clamping his mouth shut again at the noise he's made.

It's Lavi. Wait, someone's up at this time?

"ALLEN! Wanna go to Lenalee's room? Lenalee and I are here all bored, so we're kinda hosting a party like, right now, and we're asking Miranda and Krory and Kanda and all, and we're gonna get our hard saved beer from Lenalee's secret drawer, and-"

"Lavi. Could you repeat everything again, and slower?"

He does that.

"Sooooo can you make it?" Lavi squeals, as a door opens in the background and Miranda's voice can be heard, talking to someone.

"Sorry, Lavi..." Allen looks to his table and the stationary that lay on it, begging to be used. "I've got a... prior engagement."

"At this time? Well, what is it?" Lavi shouts, and Allen winces. A bottle's heard popping, as cheers fill the room.

"It's a... secret?" he meekly replies.

The cheers stop for a moment, and there is a slight commotion in the background.

A faraway voice, sounding vaguely like Lenalee's, says, "Don't worry, Kanda's on it."

* * *

><p>Once Allen hears that, he hastily disconnects the call, throws the phone on his bed and activates the Crown Clown. A second later, Kanda crashes through the door and lands softly on his feet.<p>

Sword and arm clash against each other, and the room is their battlefield. They lunge back and forth, light on their feet, swiftly turning in rhythm, like a dance, but then again not so. They don't even pant. They experiment with fighting on different levels, focus on their co-ordination and catching the other off timing. They imagine being in the training room. And even though the room is definitely smaller and more confined, the two still go at each other, just taking care to slow down a little, and be more aware about the space around them. Their skin moistens with sweat, and their muscles are warmed up enough for a full-fledged fight anytime. Bring on the akumas.

But they're interrupted by...

"LOCK EYES, FROM ACROSS THE ROOM-"

Kanda groans, and looks around for his phone, which he misplaced during the fight.

Allen's eyes light up. "You listen to The Lonely Island?" he says, clapping his hands together. "They're awesome, right?"

"Che."

"MAKE MY WAY THROUGH THE SMOKING CROWD,"

Kanda finds his phone, and furiously snaps it open.

"WHAT!"

Allen amusedly recalls such a scene just minutes ago - instead of Kanda, it's himself.

The dark haired man-girl mutters a few words into the phone, and strides over to Allen's table. Realising what's on it, Allen starts panicking, breaking into a frenzy.

"K-kanda, what are you doing?" Allen blusters, waving his skinny arms in front of his table, but they're of no use, because Kanda towers above Allen and can see everything in plain view.

A smirk crosses Kanda's face.

"Che, usagi," Kanda talks into the phone as he throws Allen a proud look, "Apparently, our dear, very little moyashi writes

fanfiction."

* * *

><p>Allen watches his life flash before his eyes.<p>

Kanda is still grinning (extremely annoyingly and extremely astonishingly), and very soon, Lavi and the troop burst into Allen's room, paying no heed to the broken door that they trample on.

"ALLENNNN-CHAN! WHAT'S THIS ABOUT FANFICTION?"

"Why's it so dark in here, anyway?" Lenalee notes, as she presses on the light switch by the door frame.

Instantly, everyone winces at the sudden light.

"Shh," Miranda taps Lavi's shoulder lightly, in her attempt to calm him down. "We don't want to wake the others,"

"But isn't everyone awake now, anyway?" Lavi replies, jumping around the room like a hyperactive... bunny. Kanda has a knack for these sort of names.

"Komui." Lenalee whispers, her hand clutching the curtain that she'd been drawing open. "Oh god, Komui."

Everyone freezes.

"Damn it!" Lenalee curses, biting her lip. "Because if nii-chan finds out that I'm up at this time when I should have been sleeping five hours ago, and he sees me with all of you, ESPECIALLY Lavi, he's not going to be happy, and..."

She lets out a colourful string of curses that Allen's never imagined her even thinking of.

"Hey, where's Krory?" Miranda pipes up, looking worriedly around the room.

Just as the words leave her mouth, Krory bursts in, panting but smiling a little. "I locked Komui's door," he says, leaning against the wall. "So he won't be able to crash the party. And you know that Komui usually can't wake up anyway no matter what circumstance."

"Except for news of Lenalee's marriage."

"Well, that's the only exception."

Everyone relaxes, and then remember the purpose of their visit, and catch Allen before he creeps out of the door with his notebook tucked under his arm. Krory pushes the chair forward, Lavi forces Allen on it, Kanda uses rope to bind Allen to the chair, Miranda switches of the lights, and Lenalee shines her torch right into Allen's face.

And in his mind, Allen guesses that this has been rehearsed.

* * *

><p>WHAT HAPPENED THE DAY BEFORE.<p>

"GUYS! STOP FOOLING AROUND!" Lenalee screamed, standing on her bed, with her hand firmly grasped to her clipboard. Miranda was clutching her stomach in laughter as Lavi tied Kanda's long ponytail to the chair that was being used. Kanda, in a fit of anger, started chasing Lavi...until he felt the tug of the wooden recliner on his hair.

Krory had to hold Kanda back as he swore that he'd get revenge someday, and it was only after Lenalee hit Kanda on his head with her clipboard, that things got back to order.

"SO! We all know that Allen's hiding something. Thus, we have to refine our skills of interrogation - make him feel intimidated into telling us the truth. Right? SO! Krory, you get the chair, and we'll get you, Lavi, to get him to sit down."

Kanda, who was simmering in the corner, said, "And I get to tie up the moyashi."

"Yeah, Yuu-chan, you want him all to himself, don't you," Lavi smirked, as Kanda furiously drew Mugen and challenged Lavi's hammer to a duel. Right there and then, in Lenalee's room.

"LAVI! KANDA! STOP FIGHTING! NOW! I MEAN IT!" And it took another five minutes before they got back to business.

"SHEESH! Krory, you get the chair, Lavi, you get Allen to sit, Kanda, you tie up Allen, Miranda, you switch off the lights, and I'll get the torch. Sounds good?"

"Err, Lenalee-chan," Miranda nervously twirled her locks, "you don't think we're being too mean to Allen-kun, are we?"

"Oh, don't worry about that, Miranda," Lenalee breezily said, as her innocent smile morphed into a cruel grin.

"NOW, WE PRACTISE!"

And it took another 3 hours to get the timing right.

* * *

><p>"Any last words?" Lenalee narrows her eyes and tries to look mysterious, while Miranda's at her side, taking notes.<p>

"Erm yeah, a question. Did you guys rehearse this?"

Kanda, in his emo corner, scoffs. "Yeah."

Allen laughs, and tries to clap his hands (but can't because the ropes are restricting his arms from movement). "I knew it!" he proudly says. "I just had a feeling."

Lavi smothers his giggle with his hand. "I would call it women's intuition, just that Allen isn't a woman."

"OI! LAVI!"

"GUYS! SHUT UP! WE HAVE AN INVESTIGATION GOING ON!" Lenalee exasperatedly shouts, and glares fiercely at Krory, who's in a corner falling asleep, and Kanda, who's in another corner, also falling asleep.

"Back to you, Allen. So tell me, what is it that is in your notebook? Remember, anything that you say may be used against you in court."

"You got that from CSI, didn't you," Kanda sits in his meditation pose on the floor and lazily watches the ant that scutters up the white-washed wall.

"Shut up, Kanda. So, Allen?"

"I'm hungry."

* * *

><p>Chicken curry, lasagne, beef stew, salad, rice, a meat pie, fried chicken, beancurd, grilled potatoes, grilled tomatoes, grilled zucchini, grilled carrots, flat noodles, cream pasta, crab, prawns, chocolate bread, roast beef, tacos, hamburgers, pudding and 20 sticks of mitarashi dango later, Allen rubs his stomach contentedly, the meal having quelled his hunger. Since all the rest of them know that within about two hours, he's going to be hungry again, they hurry Allen back to his room, where the interrogation process repeats itself.<p>

Miranda's turned off the lights in the room again, for the whole mysterious effect.

"So, Allen?" Lenalee sneers, while Allen closes his eyes to escape from the piercingly bright torch. "ALLEN! DON'T FALL ASLEEP!"

"Argh, Lenalee, I'm not sleeping! Sheesh!" he replies, annoyed at having to tell them what he was doing. Why did they even have to find out, in the first place? "Yeah, I was writing fanfiction, okay! Seriously..."

"WHAT CATEGORY?" the fearsome lady booms, and Allen jumps a little in his chair, only he's tied down to it.

"mmpphhmbblee" The accused one shifts in his chair, uncomfortable, eyes moving right to left like pendulums, lips pressed together in annoyance.

"SPEAK. UP." Lenalee growls.

"FINE, MANGA, OKAY?" he spurts out, vigorously flailing his head in all directions, as if to rid his mind of some unwanted memories.

Kanda holds Allen's head in place, and Lenalee wants more details.

"WHAT. MANGA." she bellows.

"ライアーゲーム, DAMMIT!" he bellows back.

Lenalee and the others attempt to process this Japanese phrase in their heads, and Kanda, being the one from Japan, translates it fluently;

"Liar Game?"

and Lenalee's eyes brighten with recognition;

"LIAR GAME?"

and Allen raises an eyebrow with perfect finesse;

"Liar Game."

Lenalee pauses, hesitates, and signals to Miranda to turn on the lights, and everyone cowers at the awfully blindingly bright light. Lavi fumbles with the ropes that tie Allen to the chair, and Allen stumbles out, gets used to the feeling of his limbs again.

Krory, Kanda, Miranda and Lavi then retreat to the wall, whipping out their own electronic devices and prepare to be staying there for a very long time. Krory even passes out headphones, not really for music, but just to block out the sound of Lenalee's fangirling. Because everyone knows that once Lenalee starts, she can't stop.

* * *

><p>"Wait, so you read Liar Game too?" Allen's surprised, because Liar Game's a seinen manga, not a shojo, and well, Lenalee just seems like the type of person to read shojo manga.<p>

"OF COURSE! It's my favourite manga like of all time! AND YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON I KNOW TO LIKE IT! KYAAAAAAAAAAA~!"

In the corner of the room, the four people attached to their electronic devices are very thankful for the headphones.

However, Allen is not so lucky.

"Lenalee, please, calm down..." he says, while rubbing his poor damaged ears.

"I CAN'T! Not when I've FINALLY FOUND someone who actually KNOWS LIAR GAME!" and Lenalee breaks into another high-pitched squeal. "LET'S TALK ABOUT THE FAN FIC THAT YOU'RE WRITING, THEN!"

* * *

><p><em>MSN MESSENGER<br>_

_Kanda is available._

_Krory is available._

_Miranda is available._

_Lavi may not reply because his or her status is now set to Away__._

Miranda: Where's Lavi? :)

Krory: i think he's playing maple story. i can see the screen from here.

Kanda: Che. Baka usagi.

Krory: so you guys all had nothing else 2 do?

Miranda: Kind of. ^^ I forgot to bring my DS cartridge. D: _  
><em>

Kanda: ...I got bored of playing Snake.

Miranda: Hahas! :) Yeah, that game gets a little boring after a while. :P

Kanda: Stop with the emoticons.

Miranda: Now now, Kanda, don't be so bad. :(

Krory: anyone know what allen-kun and lenalee-chan are talking about?

Miranda: It'll probably just be Liar Game still. LOL. :D

Kanda: Knowing Lenalee, I think so.

_Lavi is available._

Lavi: hey guyz! :{D

Miranda: Hi, Lavi! :D What's with the mustache, by the way? xD

Lavi: ahaha nothing! they are cool. :{D

Kanda: ...baka usagi.

Lavi: YUU! :{D

Kanda: BAKA USAGI, I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT.

Krory: this is kinda boring.

Lavi: no it isn't! :{D

Miranda: Well, what should we talk about? :)

Krory: um, pokemon? ROFL

Lavi: MY FAVOURITE POKEMON IS BULBASAUR! :{D WHAT ABOUT YOU, YUU-CHAN?

_Kanda appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in._

Lavi: YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-CHAN! D}:

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Lenalee's taken on the role of being Allen's co-writer.<p>

"What's your plot for your fanfic, anyway?" Lenalee asks, reaching over to get her Macbook that she happened to bring into the room.

"Oh, I'm making it a humor story," Allen replies, chewing musedly on his bottom lip. "Yokoya meets Akiyama in a shopping mall."

The brunette types it all down. "So, what tense is it gonna be in? Who's perspective? I think third person perspective would be best. Timeline? What's exactly happening during this fic? How does it end? Any pairings? What's the conflict? Which part of the shopping mall? Any other characters introduced? Is the Liar Game still ongoing or already over? Liar Game manga or drama?"

"Erm..." he has to consider. "I was thinking it to be in present tense. Third person would be great. I'm not so sure about the timeline. I won't really put in any romance because I'm not good at that. It's just Akiyama and Yokoya in the story, and I don't think I'll mention any other characters. Liar Game's still ongoing, I guess? And it's the manga. Oh, and I'm going to centre the fic around Yokoya buying new mice."

Lenalee notes Allen's impressive memory, and keeps typing away at the keyboard. "Great. We can play it by ear for the ending, see what comes to us when the time comes. Meanwhile, have you got a fanfiction account?"

Allen pauses.

"What's that?"

Lenalee facepalms.

* * *

><p><em>Hope you enjoyed that chapter!<br>_

_PLEASE NOTE: Allen and Kanda's ringtones are songs from The Lonely Island; Allen's was Like A Boss, and Kanda's was Jizz In My Pants. Also, do bear in mind that Yokoya and Akiyama are characters from Liar Game, and Yokoya has a mice fetish.  
><em>

_Reviews would be nice... who am I kidding, I LIVE ON REVIEWS. But I am deeply honoured by the fact that so many people viewed my story - one even favourited it on the first day (thank you Liquid Twilight!).  
><em>

_NEXT CHAPTER: Lenalee introduces Allen to the fanfiction world! :D_


	2. the 101 guide to fanfiction lingo

_Wow. In the midst of my brain dehydration, I just decided to attempt to work on this update, and surprisingly, the words came to me just like that. Maybe it's because I need a break from romance once in a while. Maybe not. Anyhow, I'm glad to have this up! :D_

_However, a slight warning - this chapter and probably the next will not really be in a story mode. More like a guide. So if you know all that I will be stating, I'm sorry to disappoint and bore. _

_Meanwhile, please do enjoy. :)_

_IN THIS CHAPTER: Allen picks up Fanfiction lingo._

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM._

* * *

><p>In due time, they set up an email account especially for the Fanfiction account that they made next.<p>

"So, first, you have to get an avatar for your Fanfiction account. Preferably something that describes you. And you have to fill up your profile, talk about yourself and whatever else you want to." Lenalee says, cross-legged on the floor, as they both peer at the laptop screen. "Then you can post all the stories you want. And make sure you read fanfiction as well, to get more ideas and also to improve your own stories. Go ahead and review all the stories you want and stuff. It improves you as an editor. Also don't forget to 'favourite' your favourite stories! Makes people happy, you know. And-"

Allen covers his face with his hands, and sighs.

"Okay, okay, I'll do that all in due time, but what can I do in the span of an hour?"

"Search Google for a suitable photo for your icon."

"A beansprout," Kanda pipes up, and Lenalee silences him with a glare as Allen keeps thinking.

And thinking,

and thinking,

and thinking.

(and thinking.)

He promptly heads over to Google and types in the search bar 'smiley face', and saves the first smiley he sees, and uploads it as his avatar.

Lenalee mentally facepalms.

"Erm, alright then," she moves the mouse over to the profile section. "Go ahead and type whatever you want for your profile. Your favourite food, maybe? Wait, no, scratch that. Favourite music? Favourite colour? Things like that. The basics."

Tapping his chin delicately, like a refined proffesor-kind-of, Allen thinks for a while again, and scurries to type, his fingers flying over the keys.

_Good morning, afternoon, or night, wherever you might be! My name is Allen Walker, and I am elated that you have visited my profile. To say a few words about myself; my favourite colour is black, my favourite animals are dolphins, tigers and bunnies, and my favourite band is The Lonely Island. I do hope sincerely that you have enjoyed, or will enjoy, my fan fictions, when I do post any. Until next time! _

Lenalee reads the paragraph that is typed out, and winces at the overly-formal language, as she tries to form the words to point out Allen's mistakes without hurting him.

"Allen-kun, you don't really have to be..." she waves her hands in the air, "..so formal. Your profile is a bit like, your diary. It's a representation of you." Then she smiles, trying to reassure Allen. "Relax. Be free with your words. I know you can be really formal, but that's not what's needed on your profile."

The addressed bites his lip in concentration, and nods, and deletes the written paragraph to start a new one. Apparently he seemed to be mute, or lacks any words to say.

_Sup dawg, the name's Allen. Allen Walker, but whatever, you know? I don't care. And heck care about my likes and dislikes. It's all trash. You don't need to know about me. And if you're a hater, then GET LOST. I hate haters. Haters hate me. So what? And for my stories. Look, you don't even need to read them. If you don't like them, then click that cross button up there on the top right/left (Mac or PC?). I'm a fanfic author, and I don't care about you._

All Lenalee has to do is give Allen an exasperated look.

"Alright, alright," he says, bursting into laughter as he presses his finger on the Backspace key. "I have no idea what to write, and I'm tired of thinking..."

* * *

><p>Miranda: So, what do you think they're doing? :)<p>

Krory: staring at the com screen, laughing like hyenas, pointing at stuff on the screen...

Lavi: I bet it's still fanfiction! :{P

_Kanda is available_

Lavi: YUUUUUU! :{D DON'T SIGN OUT!

Kanda: Baka usagi -.-... I'm only here because I had nothing else to do.

Krory: neither did any of us, lol.

Miranda: I'm going to take off my headphones for a while, and see what they're all in wrecks about. ^^

Miranda: ...yes, they're reading fanfiction. D:

Lavi: Let them laugh! We're having TONS of fun here! x{D

Kanda: Yeah, sure.

Krory: so...

Miranda: so...

Lavi: so...

_Kanda appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in._

Lavi: YUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-CHAN! D}:

* * *

><p>Allen is slamming his palm down on the floor, and Lenalee is rolling around, in hysterics at a particular fanfiction.<p>

"I like this writer!" Allen says, impressed, and Lenalee clicks on the link to his profile, where they look at his different interests, and random thoughts, and assorted fanfictions.

"And he even writes angst?" he remarks, clicking on another fanfiction, which features a fanfiction from his favourite anime with his favourite characters and his favourite food for the title - Mitarashii Dango. "And according to the author's note, he likes dango! Just like me! That's even cooler!"

Lenalee is not so impressed at the whole dango thing, but she smiles and nods along.

So after an hour of looking at the stories and finding links to other authors and reading THEIR stories, Allen and Lenalee go back to Allen's profile.

"Oh yeah, Lenalee-chan, do you have a Fanfiction account?" he asks, as he lazily supports his head on his propped up arm.

"Well, yeah," she replies, "but I don't want to show you my account just yet. Some of my stories are really kinda messed up, and it's embarrassing, to say in the least."

"It can't be that bad! Not as bad as me, I bet."

"I'll make you a deal - when you post your first fanfiction, I'll tell you my account."

Allen pauses to think, to think about the happiness of posting his first fanfiction, but then thinks about how inferior it'll seem to all the other fanfictions posted. He's not sure if he can take insults and criticism that well, and he's scared of posting his work where every person with a computer can see.

But in the end, "Fine," he goes, putting out a hand to shake on it.

"Great!" Lenalee takes his hand and gives a firm shake. "What do you want to learn now?"

"What does OOC mean? And smut? And fluff? And kink? And crack? And what's a drabble? How long is one? And then what are ficlets and one-shots? What are OCs? Lemons? Limes? BL? Slash? Femslash? AU? What's a disclaimer? What does it do?"

* * *

><p>COMMENCE LESSON 1: FANFICTION LINGO<p>

_FANFICTION:_

1. fiction written by fans of a TV series, movie, etc., usingexisting characters and situations to develop new plots.

2. a work of fiction in this genre.

_LINGO:_

1. the language and speech, especially the jargon, slang, orargot, of a particular field, group, or individual: gamblers' lingo.

2. language or speech, especially if strange or foreign.

* * *

><p>Lenalee lifts the Macbook off the floor, places it on her lap, and clicks on the Microsoft Word icon, opening a new document. First, she lists all the terms that Allen wants to know:<p>

_OOC_

_SMUT_

_FLUFF_

_KINK_

_CRACK_

_DRABBLE_

_FICLET _

_ONE-SHOT_

_OC_

_LEMON_

_LIME_

_BL_

_SLASH_

_FEMSLASH_

_AU_

_DISCLAIMER_

And then she starts filling in each definition, one by one.

_OOC - out of character_

"Okay, so let's start with OOC. It stands for out of character. Usually it's used in a fanfiction, when someone, the author or the reader, thinks that one of the characters is not acting like he or she normally is in the original piece of work. That something's not right in the character's speech or movements or personality. However, sometimes authors like making the characters OOC, just to have a little fun or show a possible different side of a certain character. Get me so far?"

Allen nods, taking it all in, and motions for her to continue to the next one.

_SMUT - sexual intentions_

"Smut is usually associated with dirty romance, like sex, and stuff. Even when there isn't any romance in the particular fanfiction, a smut-ish fanfic would imply dirty ideas and things, and corrupt your innocent little brain, so I suggest, Allen-kun, that you steer clear of smut. No reading, and definitely NO WRITING."

"Yeah, sure, Lenalee," Allen smirks in a very evil way, just to get her all motherly and protective. But surprisingly she nervously looks up at the ceiling and dismisses it, moves on, as if... she herself is committing the same crime she's preaching about?

Anyway.

_FLUFF - cheesiness, cute, innocent romance._

"Fluff is nice. Fluff written by good authors can make you feel really happy inside, or content, and usually if you end a story with good fluff, it'll seem complete. Happy endings make the world go 'round. Fluff includes hugs, kisses, and holding hands. All innocent enough. Nothing too sexual. But too much fluff is not good. Or what some stuck up, fake authors call 'fluff' when it really is just a string of what they are doing. Fluff includes description, feeling."

_KINK - same as smut_

"Mo~ving on."

_CRACK - parody, humor, usually including tons of OOCness._

"Some people write crack awesomely, that make you clutch your stomach in laughter, while some people write crude parody crack, and I hate that sort of thing. Crack usually symbolizes that there is purposeful OOCness in the story, just for the author to poke fun, and the audience to enjoy."

"Crack sounds evil."

"...it is."

_DRABBLE - A fanfic of a 100 words or less._

"Drabbles are meant for extremely small fanfictions. Tons of authors put a bunch of unrelated drabbles about their favourite pairings in one fanfiction. Usually, drabbles are just small scenarios, which can start quickly and end quickly. Or the scenarios could be in the middle of something big, or a conversation, of things like that. Alternatively, drabbles are just used to signify small, small fanfics."

Allen's eyes widen. "So drabbles should be really easy to write!" he says, already coming up with an idea for a drabble in his head.

"Oh no," Lenalee rebukes, shaking her head, "to write a good drabble takes practise, because it's actually harder than you think to paint a picture with less than 100 words compared to 1000."

"...oh."

_FICLET - A fanfic of around 500 words._

"Bigger than a drabble, but not so big still. A small story. Ficlets could also mean less than a 1000 words."

_ONE-SHOT - A story in itself, with only one chapter, but as long as it can go._

"Most stories in FF(dot)net are one-shots. Things that people can complete in a go, where a whole story is told. Usually it's from 1000 words to 5000 words, but there really aren't any restrictions to the length. If you've got a short attention span, like I do, I'd suggest to stick to one-shots. Multi chapter stories can get boring."

Mentally, Allen makes a note to see how patient he can be by writing a multi chapter - and perhaps prove Lenalee that he's more controlled than she is.

_OC - own character._

"How I hate OCs! How I detest them! OCs are characters that the author has made up to put into stories, and most of the time, they are perfect and cheerful and things, and the author doesn't even know his or her own character that well. Most of them time, OCs are involved in relationships with other characters in the story. Don't ever write an OC, unless it's really good and you show it to me and I approve, or I will personally see to it that your account is hacked."

"Don't get all fired up, Lenalee..."

_LEMON - explicit sex._

"Lemons are for M-rated fanfictions. They are smut and kink. And I do NOT want to see you reading lemons, so when you see the lemon warning, you'd better not click on the fanfiction. Protect your sanity, while you can."

Allen never really wanted to read about sex anyway.

_LIME - not-so explicit sex._

"Slightly better, but untouchable for you, anyhow."

_BL - boy love, shonen-ai._

This time, Allen speaks first. "Okay, I get it already, you can move on."

Lenalee makes a hand gesture for zipping her mouth, without telling Allen that she's a major fujoshi (yaoi lover).

_SLASH - BL._

"I think you'd rather skip this bit?"

"Yes... why yes, I would."

_FEMSLASH - girl love, shojo-ai._

"Personally, I don't like femslash, and never will, but that's because I'm a girl. And I know you get the idea, so I'll skip this bit of commentation."

_AU - alternate universe._

"Alternate universes are always fun. Most fanfictions are set in alternate universes. It's where the characters of the story are dropped in a different universe. Perhaps something never happened, or they are in high school, or they are hobos. Anything could happen. But the characters stay constant in AUs. Or there'll be too many changes, you know?"

"Erm, yeah, sure."

_DISCLAIMER - copyright bleh._

"It's essential to put a disclaimer before each chapter of your story. Usually it goes 'DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN whateverfanficcategoryyou'rewritingin. For copyright reasons and all that. It's a bit tedious, but not really, because you only need to type a few words."

Lenalee stretches, and yawns.

"That's all for today, Allen-kun," she says as she gets up, the Macbook tucked under her arm. "I think we all need to go and sleep. RIGHT, GUYS?"

The fabulous four by the wall look up in surprise, and lazily push their limbs off the floor and trail after Lenalee with their electronic devices in tow. "Bye, Allen," Miranda and Lavi manage as they head out the door.

It's all Allen can do to head back to the bed, and try get some sleep after that night.

* * *

><p><em>I FINISHED IT! YES!<em>

_Hope you enjoyed that. I did, too. Kind of. Give me a review, would you? I know I need to brush up some areas - I'm just not so sure where._

_DISCOVERED IN RECENT EDIT: Tense changes. Ohmydorothy I am SORRY. Changed it back all to present tense though, so don't worry._

_NEXT CHAPTER: Allen finds out just what he can do with his account._


	3. horrible realisation!

_Back again ;)_

_Hope you enjoy this chapter! Allen finds out just what he can do with his fanfiction account. Also, some other people stumble upon something they're not supposed to see...?_

_Warning, Kanda's a little OOC later on, so please excuse that, if you could. It's hard to keep him out of everything. D:_

_Enjoy!_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM, Apple, or anything outside references in this fanfiction._

* * *

><p>It's about 10 in the morning, and Allen's finally woken up after that horrendously long night, and he's hungry.<p>

So after he's changed out of his limp, dirty clothes from the previous day, and has had a good bath, he heads down to the cafeteria, where he orders a huge cart of food, and eats it in about 10 minutes.

He then heads back to his room, still feeling slightly lethargic.

"I remember Komui gave all of us a Macbook... I think mine's still in the box, unopened," Allen says to himself, as he gets a hold on the cupboard handles and swings open the doors. "Uniform, uniform, clothes, pillow, book, uniform, remains of a chicken, and yes, Macbook box!"

He promptly lifts the box from the whole mess in the cupboard, makes a mental note to clear it someday, and sets the box on the floor.

After tearing open the package, he holds up his unused Macbook, and holds it up to the sunlight, marvelling at the texture, the size, the colour, and pretty much everything about it. But he can't help it - technology never fails to amuse him!

Then he turns it on.

And gets startled by the welcome music that plays from it.

"It even welcomes you? What a friendly computer!" Allen holds the smooth surface to his cheek, instantly taking a liking to it.

It takes him about an hour or so to get the whole thing started up, and Allen manages to find out how to connect to the Black Order's broadband. Then he plugs the Macbook into the powerpoint by his bed, just to make sure it doesn't suddenly run out of battery, and he clicks on every icon in the desktop until he finds the one for the internet, which is surprisingly labelled 'Firefox'.

"Firefox?" Allen wonders at the name. "What does Firefox have to do with the Internet?"

Nevertheless, he goes to the Fanfiction website, and logs in to his account.

* * *

><p>He sees 12 sections at the side of the page, all with different labels, and decides to click on the first label, which is titled Account.<p>

Out appears 4 subgroups; Settings, Profile, Avatar, and Block Users.

"Boring."

So he moves on.

He proceeds to click on the label below Account, which is Publish, but nothing there seems to appeal to him, and he's decided he's going to write out the whole fanfiction on paper before typing it out, so Publish is of no importance to him. However, he does decide to read the Rules & Guidelines, just for the heck of it, and also because he doesn't want to get into trouble for any unforeseen reason.

Briefly noting the Community Etiquette, he moves down to the Entries Not Allowed, Actions Not Allowed, and General rules, and is surprised to find out that quite a fraction of the fanfictions he's read completely breaks at least one of the rules up there.

Allen dismisses it. "Oh well, there are always the rebels."

Moving on, he decides to skip Private Messaging, because he hasn't found anyone to Private Message, and it's pointless if he went there.

Alerts are also slightly pointless, just that he realises that he can actually alert his favourite stories that are still continuing.

Favouriting's also something new to him, but he doesn't explore too much into that.

After that, none of the categories seem to interest him, except for Beta Reader and DocX.

"Oh, that's cool," Allen notes for Beta Reader, "you can get other people to be your story editors!"

And as for DocX, "Like document Private Messaging. That's cool."

When Allen looks at the clock on his screen, he's surprised that it's been 2 hours since he's unpacked his Macbook, and he proceeds to turn the laptop off and head back down to the cafeteria for another meal.

* * *

><p>Lunch is a lively affair, with the usual five at the table, eating together. Kanda usually sits at the table just next to them, prefering to eat - and stone - by himself. By now, everyone's not so daunted by the pile of Allen's food anymore, even if it does occasionally restrict their movement.<p>

"Allen-kun!" Lenalee waves him over to their usual table. "Did you know that Miranda reads fanfiction too?"

"Really?" Allen's surprised, as he's never heard anything about that before. "How come you never told us?"

"It never came up, I guess," the newly discovered reader nervously replies, twirling a lock of hair with her fingers, poking at her food.

"What's the whole big deal about fanfiction, anyway?" Lavi asks, as he tries to catch up with the conversation, and Krory nods along with him.

Lenalee and Allen gape at the other two males, while Miranda doesn't gape, but internally gapes at them anyway.

"Fanfiction is... awesome. You get to choose what you want the characters to do. You get to torture or put the characters into complete bliss. You get to decide. All you have to do is shape the words, and out comes this magnificent story, that everyone wants to read, and everyone loves. It's a win-win situation, see? That's why I like writing fanfiction, and so does Allen here," Lenalee lightly slaps Allen on his arm, "and I'm sure Miranda will soon see the light and start writing too."

"Yeah... What she said."

They all get up to clear their trays/cart, and head their own seperate ways to their rooms.

...or are they really going back to their own rooms?

"Tch, usagi," Kanda magically appears from Lavi's right, "Don't you wonder what Lenalee writes?"

"Yuu~! You were listening!"

"Don't call me by my first name. And answer, usagi."

"Well, to be honest, I'm actually very interested to what the likes of her might write. But I don't know her fanfiction account username, so it's not use..."

"Or," Krory magically appears from Lavi's left, "We could do something really... evil?"

The redhead spins around to look at the other two, and as his plan shapes in his head, his face shapes into an evil grin.

"Hell yeah~."

The threesome then abruptly stop in their path, and knowing that Lenalee's preoccupied in Komui's office, sneakily head to her room; as sneakily as they can, anyway.

* * *

><p>Lavi proves to be excellent at lock-picking, and so they enter without much worry. He scans the room, snatches the Macbook on the desk, and hugs it to his chest, as they close the door and flee from the scene of crime.<p>

Since Lavi shares his room with Bookman and can't really do illegal stuff in there, they decide to go to Krory's room, because the thought of going to Kanda's room frightens them, a little.

Krory pries open the screen from the keyboard, and they stare at it, waiting for it to do something.

"Press the 'on' button, idiot!" Kanda hisses, and the vampire scrambles to find and press it.

A weird noise emanates from it.

"OH GREAT LENALEE'S ONTO US!" Lavi cries, before Kanda thunks his head hard with the handle of Mugen.

"It's the welcome tone, baka usagi."

"Ohhh!"

The screen lights up, and they find themselves staring at two random dudes in the middle of a heated make-out session, Lenalee's desktop wallpaper.

"SHIT ON A SHINGLE!" Everyone covers their eyes at the explicitly gay scene, and Lavi hastily clicks on the Internet icon, where Google blocks out the unpleasant sight.

Krory closes his eyes, and opens them again. "You know, I think I know what Lenalee writes now."

"Well, we've already gotten so far!" Lavi's adamant, despite the eye-tainting photo they've just seen. "Might as well find out what Lenalee writes now."

They head to the fanfiction website, where Lenalee's account automatically signs in.

"Let's go to... Publish, then Manage Stories. Probably her stories will be there."

Krory and Kanda watch as Lavi gets where he's just said, and look in delight at the number of stories there are that she's written - the more the merrier to blackmail!

But when Kanda scans the summaries of the stories, he turns pale.

"Eh, Yuu-chan, what're you so scared about?" Lavi turns to the person on his left, and notices the deathly colour of his face.

The other two hear Kanda muttering "Bad idea, bad idea...", when they can't find anything too abnormal in the summaries. It's just about love, and although all the names in the summaries appear to be boy names, it's not like she put a warning for explicit sex, or anything.

Then Krory spots a common word in each summary.

"What's 'yaoi'?"

Kanda mutters some more. "Yaoi, and the rating set to M for mature, and her wallpaper... Not a good idea..."

"Eh, Yuu, speak up!" Lavi pokes the man-girl, and accidentally clicks on one of the stories. But when he scans the story that now appears on the screen, and his face turns into a sheet of paper, and runs out of the room, screaming like a little girl.

The other two read the story, just out of curious human/vampire nature, and their reaction's the same as Lavi's.

* * *

><p>"MOYASHIIII~!" Lavi barges into Allen's room, and promptly barfs onto the stone floor.<p>

Before Allen can react, two other figures (later identified as Kanda and Krory) stumble in, and follow the hammer-wielding dude's example to spew out their lunch on the floor. But since Krory doesn't exactly eat normal food, he coughs out blood, and starts rolling on the floor.

"Ehhh?" The owner of the room is taken aback at the sight, and promptly calls the cleaners to come clear the huge, stinky mess.

"Allen-kun, -cough- don't -cough- trust -cough- Lenalee! -cough-" Krory manages to say, as he's sprawled on the floor like a carpet.

Before Allen can question that statement, Kanda gets to his senses to elaborate.

"She explained the definition of lemons, didn't she?"

All Allen can do is nod.

"She writes lemons." Kanda simply says, as calmly as he can, after one has seen an M-rated fanfiction for the first time, about their own gender. As if to prove his being sane again, he adds, "Che."

THEN Allen remembers a lemon that he very accidentally clicked on and read, and pukes out his lunch too, which is this whole, huge pile of liquidified food, right on his bed.

* * *

><p><em>DUN DUN DUNNNNN ALLEN KNOWS THE TRUTH! LEGASP!<em>

_Anyway, hopefully this chapter wasn't too short - I tried to write it as fast as I could, but I had ever so many things to do. Meanwhile, please do review if you liked it, and tell me what I can include in the next chapter!_

_I've had people ask me to incorporate pairings in this fic, like LenaleeXAllen or Yullen or Laven and stuff like that, so I'll be making the official pairing AllXAllen, with Allen liking none, of course. However, not to worry, because the pairings will only be turning out crack, so this fanfic is NOT going to turn out into romance._

_Stay tuned! :)_


	4. payback time BWAHAHA!

_This chapter: Lenalee gets a taste of her own medicine, and well, secrets are revealed._

_Took a little longer than I should have with this fanfic, and it isn't even all that long. I guess I was a little too busy slaying plot bunnies. ._. Go check them out at my LJ homepage :D_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM or any other external references._

* * *

><p>It does take a little while for the four exorcists to get back to normal, and for the whole room to be cleared up, but when they do, they're back with a vengeance.<p>

The moment they return the accursed laptop back to it's original place, they head over to Allen's room again, to discuss what to do to take revenge. Although Allen's usually pretty peace-loving and stuff, he can't take this sort of thing. Seriously, how could Lenalee defame their gender without getting away?

"So we need to come up with a plan, something to make Lenalee get a taste of her own medicine," Lavi paces around the small room, taking care not to bang his head into the ceiling. "We have to be discreet somehow, and not damage her too much, or anything like that, but we have to make sure she doesn't do this sort of stuff again."

The plan they form is simple: Write a femslash and discreetly send it to her.

"Maybe," Lavi suggests, "we'll have you, Allen, emailing Lenalee with some innocent subject header, when inside is the femslash. I think it's more commonly called yuri in Japanese, isn't it, Kanda?"

Kanda grunts in reply.

"Right. So maybe the header could be asking what yaoi means or something, because she didn't clarify what exactly was yaoi. So then maybe she'll suspect that Allen was looking through fanfictions and one of the summaries said 'yaoi' and she doesn't want Allen to read those fanfictions, obviously. Then she'd rush to open the email and read it's contents or something. And then: DAYUM! HER EYES ARE TAINTED! JUST LIKE SHE HAS TAINTED OURS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Lavi, you have to learn to speak slower."

Once they've sorted out a very basic plot for the story, they decide to set it to Naruto, namely because it's too famous for Lenalee NOT to have watched or read, being the otaku she is.

They don't know much about Naruto themselves, actually, so they just use Sakura and Ino and set it in a high school setting.

PLOT:

1) The bell goes off for lunch, and everyone files out of class, except for Sakura, who's packing her things, and Ino, who's hanging around.

2) Ino goes up to Sakura.

3) Ino slams Sakura against wall.

4) Ino proclaims undying love and kisses Sakura.

5) They have a heated make out session.

6) They start stripping.

7) They have sex.

8) THE END!

"The plot seems pretty no-brainer to me, you know..." Krory reads the Word document the plot is typed on, making weird faces as he visualises steps 5 to 8. "It's just really kinda random, isn't it?"

"But we only need Lenalee to get grossed out," Lavi defends himself and the plot that he came up with.

Allen interjects. "Look, let's just get started, shall we?"

And Kanda asks the magic question:

"How?"

* * *

><p>Lavi and Allen have been assigned to write the fanfiction, while Kanda and Krory are assigned to try and make Lenalee believe that everything is nice and dandy.<p>

Kanda is unwilling, and Krory can't act at all, so they give up after half a minute of trying and head back to their own rooms. No need to let the other two know that they're slacking, anyway.

So, with Lavi's great intellect and very wide imagination, and Allen's minute experience with fanfiction, they manage to come up with a decent story in less than 5 hours; a miracle, mind you. Then they proceed to send it, and flee from the room to avoid traces or anything.

Allen heads down to the cafeteria, again, where he orders another cartload of stuff, and eats the whole lot, as a group of Finders sitting at another table gaze wide-eyed at the appetite of the albino. He mentally wonders why they're still amazed, even after two years of being in the Order, before getting up and returning the dishes and apologizing to the dishwasher.

As Allen returns to his room, he faintly notes a scream somewhere in some room along the corridor.

The moment he closes his new room door, it's flung open by a breathless Lavi and Krory, who slam the door shut and huddle on the floor in an attempt to camouflage themselves.

The door's flung open again, and this time, it's the black boot wearing exorcist, eyes flaming with fury and shock.

"What. Was. That. All. About."

Swiftly, Lenalee grabs Lavi by the front of his shirt, and glares, waiting for a response.

"LOOK, IT WASN'T JUST ME!" Lavi protests, squirming from the piercing stare. "Moyashi was also involved in writing this!"

"I AM NOT A MOYASHI!"

Lenalee pauses, and releases Lavi, and a hurt expression encloses her face.

"Allen-kun, is this true?"

"Um, yeah, because, you see-"

* * *

><p><em>MSN MESSENGER<br>_

_Kanda is available._

_Krory is available._

_Lavi is available._

_Miranda is available._

Miranda: Hey guys, what's going on? I'm in on a mission so I don't know what's happening... D:

Kanda: Che. What's going on.

Lavi: Um, Krory and I are here, and Allen's getting interrogated by Lenalee :{O

Krory: he looks terrified. lol

Miranda: Oh dear! :O What happened to Allen and Lenalee? :/

Lavi: We kinda wrote a lesbo fanfic to piss Lenalee off. x{P

Miranda: WHY DID YOU DO THAT? :(

Krory: ooouuuucccchhhh. lenalee's in shock.

Kanda: Miranda, Lenalee writes yaoi fanfictions.

Lavi: We detest yaoi as much as you detest yuri. D}:

Miranda: Ohhh. So, what else is happening? ?_?

Lavi: Wait, I'll try type the convo. Krory, you be Allen. :{)

Krory: k.

Lavi: **L** is Lenalee and **A** is Allen. Okay wait.

Lavi: **L: Is it because you found my fanfiction account?**

Krory: **A: um, yeah..**

Lavi: **L: Oh shit. Look, I'm sorry, okay?**

Krory: **A: i didn't think you would do something like that, lenalee.**

Lavi: **L: I'M SORRY! REALLY I AM! -starts sobbing- PLEASE FORGIVE ME? I COULD NEVER LIVE IT DOWN WITH YOU HATING ME ALL THE TIME! IF YOU WON'T FORGIVE ME, I THINK I MIGHT HANG MYSELF!**

Krory: **A: uh, as much as i treasure your friendship, why do you seem soooo... desperate?**

Lavi: **L: BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! **

Lavi: WAIT, WHAT? :{O

Miranda: WHATTT? :O

Krory: WHAT SERIOUSLYYY?

Kanda: ?

Miranda: LENALEE LIKES ALLEN? GET BACK TO THEIR CONVERSATION!

Lavi: Okay, okay! **L: Please tell me you like me back too...**

Krory: **A: uh, um, ah, eh, er, i'm sorry lenalee, i don't like you... that way...**

Lavi: **L: You like Kanda, don't you. I knew it. -angry face-**

Kanda: ?

Krory: **A: No! Definitely not! I don't like anyone!**

Lavi: Oh he doesn't like anyone. I was hoping... -twiddles thumbs- :{/

Miranda: WHAT YOU LIKE ALLEN? xO

Kanda: You are so dead, baka usagi.

Miranda: YOU LIKE ALLEN TOOO? xO

Krory: **A: -runs out of room-**

Lavi: **L: -cries-**

Lavi: Okay, we better go comfort Lenalee, Krory. See you guys! :{P

Krory: yeah bye then!

_Lavi has signed out._

Miranda: Oh okay, bye! ^^

_Krory has signed out._

Kanda: I'm really going to get you, baka usagi.

_Kanda has signed out._

_Miranda has signed out._

* * *

><p><em>Hahas cliffhanger! Kind of :x<em>

_Thanks tons for reading! Sorry if this chapter was a little short as well; I need time to restock on ideas and plan and bleh. Thanks to all the reviewers who helped supply ideas :D could never do it without you. _

_Meanwhile, as I try to figure out what comes next, please review! I won't really beg for them, but if you come up with anything that could help me in the story, I would really appreciate that. Thanks!_

_I think I need to come up with an ending for this story. It seems to be able to go on forever._


	5. it's awwun!

_Back with another chapter~! __Nothing much more to say, just that I love my reviewers to bits, and I love my favouriters and readers to bits too. And terribly sorry for the late update! I've had so much to do, and I was also away..._

_Oh, as for official pairing, it's strictly now Lavi/Kanda/TykiXAllen. So not exactly AllXAllen. But I'm sorry, it's all crack, and I'm not going to establish Yullen, Laven or Poker Pair. Or any other pairing, for that matter. Allen is single and going to stay that way. Sorry though. :)_

_As I currently write this chapter, I have no idea what direction it's going._

_Enjoy!_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM._

* * *

><p>Allen's in a daze when he's stepped out of his own room, and he bewilderedly walks around the corridors, not really knowing where he's going, and not really thinking about anything at all.<p>

Eventually, he ends up at the cafeteria, and realises that he's famished.

So as he's got this huge cart of food, as usual, Lavi tears down the stairs, and sprints to the cafeteria, and finds Allen there. As usual. And while Allen's stuffing his face, Lavi tries to get Allen's attention, apparently with some important news.

But oh no, Allen isn't going to find out who else other than Lenalee likes him. Not yet.

"Are you okay, Moyashi-chan?" Lavi musses Allen's hair a little, sliding in to the seat next to him. The poor, unsuspecting victim of all these unfortunate crushes looks up from his bowl of noodles (Lavi thinks he looks positively adorable) and sighs, covering his face with his hands.

"I know I probably made her mad or something," the beansprout muses, shovelling another huge bunch of noodles into his mouth. "But what was I supposed to do? Lie to her?"

Lavi ponders his next step, and decides to follow Nike - Just Do It.

"So, moyashi, you really don't like anyone?"

"Eh?"

the naive boy raises his head.

"No, I don't like anyone, why?"

As Lavi bursts into tears and starts bawling his way out of the dining hall, Allen puzzles as to what made him suddenly break into sobs, and continues stuffing food down his throat.

Then Kanda runs into the same hall, breathless, and immediately returns to his emo self, and stalks over to Allen's table.

"Oi. Moyashi. I heard you rejected Lenalee?"

Allen once again lifts up his head, this time from a basket of fried chicken. (Kanda thinks it's positively adorable) "Yeah," he says, "but why do you care anyway, Kanda?"

Uhm. Uhm. Uhm. Kanda's at a loss. THINK, KANDA! Uhm. Uhm.

He goes with indifference.

"None of your business, moyashi" he mutters, and curses internally at his shaky voice. Allen, however, finds nothing wrong, and thank goodness for that. He continues to eat his fried chicken.

"Oh. And my name's Allen, idiot. Then why are you still standing here, Bakanda?"

Uhm. Uhm. Uhm. Kanda's at a loss. THINK, KANDA! Uhm. Uhm.

"Lookatthetimegottagobyeeeee!"

For a moment, Allen watches the fleeing Kanda, wonders why he's not exactly himself today, and moves on to his next dish, Japanese curry.

Komui charges in.

Allen holds up his spoon, not turning to face the incoming bull, and says "You're going to ask me something about Lenalee's confession."

"No," the scientist replies, "I was just wondering if you knew where my coffee mug was, but wait. WAIT." He pauses, eyebrows furrowing as his brain-gears start churning. "What do you mean by 'Lenalee's confession'?"

Allen then realises that he's landed himself in hell.

"Lenalee confessed to me," he blurts, and stuffs his spoon in his mouth to prevent him from spilling anything more.

The expected reaction. "WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Wince. "I said, LENALEE CONFE-"

"NO! I DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT AGAIN!" Komui starts sobbing hysterically, as the North Koreans did over Kim Jong Il. "AS IN, HOW DID YOU REPLY?"

Wince again. "I... rejected... her..."

Allen prepares for the wails and sobs and screams and kicks, but instead is greeted with a delighted "oh!".

Surprised, he looks to his left, where Komui's standing, his face full of gratitude. "Thank you for rejecting her, Allen-kun. Right now she doesn't need to get into a boy-girl relationship. I don't think she ever needs to. -nervous laughter- And anyway, her crushes always wear off. She'll get back to fangirling over some fictitious character. But I think it's time I had a talk with her."

And before Allen can do anything, Komui charges out of the cafeteria, and yells behind him,

"OH, AND TELL ME IF YOU FIND MY MUG!"

There is a reason why Allen's always found Komui kinda scary, as he looks back down at his new bowl of spaghetti, and starts devouring it.

* * *

><p><em>MSN MESSENGER<em>

__Kanda appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.__

_Krory is available._

__Lavi appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.__

_Miranda is available._

Miranda: Hey again! ^.^ So how's everybody coping? :)

Krory: after the whole incident, i dunno where lavi and kanda went. i think i heard lavi sobbing a while ago.

Miranda: Oh? :( He's probably sad that Allen doesn't like him, I guess. :P

Krory: lol i think so. then i heard someone sprinting past my door a while ago.

Miranda: ...maybe that was Kanda. xP

_Tyki has joined the conversation_

Miranda: ?

Krory: ?

Tyki: Well, hello, everybody. -smirk-

Tyki: I know what you all are talking about.

_Lavi is available._

Lavi: Huh? What are we talking about? :{O

Miranda: Must be depressing for you, Lavi. -pat on back- I'm sorry for you. :(

Lavi: Huh? What? Ahaha... :{)

Tyki: This is war, shounen.

Miranda: Oh, don't tell me YOU like Allen too? xO xD

Krory: and HOW did you find out about the conversation?

Tyki: Two words: Road's Door.

Lavi: WHATEVER! I'm SURE I love Allen MORE THAN YOU. T^T -insert mustache-

Tyki: Yeah right, bunny, I know that my love for the white-haired shounen stretches no bounds.

_Road is available_

Road: Well, why not we test that?

Lavi: HOW DID YOU GUYS MANAGE TO HACK INTO THE SYSTEM? :{O

Tyki: We're Noahs. We can do anything.

Road: Hi-5, Tyki!

Tyki: -slaps screen- Oh dear, my computer monitor fell down.

Road: Anyway, I know that Lavi, Kanda and Tyki love Allen to bits. And of course, we don't know who loves the other more. SO, actually I'm over at Lenalee's room right now,

Lavi: HOW? :{O

Miranda: HOW? :O

Krory: HOW?

Road: Tsk. My door. Duhhhh.

Krory: ohhh right. lol

Road: Anyway, she's already gotten over her crush after Komui came in to knock some sense into her, and we've come up with this brilliant idea for a competition.

Lavi: WHAT! :{O

Tyki: WHAT!

_Kanda is available._

Kanda: WHAT!

Miranda: Woah, Kanda, you're really OOC these days, aren't you? :P

Kanda: Che. Shut up.

Road: We're forming a Fanfiction competition.

Tyki: HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME, ROAD?

Lavi: YEAH! I HARDLY KNOW HOW TO WRITE FANFICTION! D}x

Kanda: Insane idea.

Road: We don't care, if you want to show that you love Allen the most, you have to take part!

Kanda: ...fine.

Lavi: Fine then! :{(

Tyki: Fine.

Road: Okay then! -claps hands excitedly- So here are the rules.

Road: 1) This competition is every week. Once you have signed up, you are not allowed to back down. You are only allowed to get out when you realise that you don't love Allen anymore. The competition will end when everyone comes to their senses.

Lavi: BUT I'M NEVER BACKING DOWN! x{O

Road: 2) Never interrupt me or Lenalee.

Lavi: ...okay fine. :{(

Road: 3) There will be a theme at the start of every week that all of you will have to follow and write according to. Your own self will be your Own Character, or OC, and you will have to write a fanfiction with the pairing of your OC and Allen.

Road: 4) Lenalee and I are the judges. Our word is final. At the end of every week, you will email us your fanfiction, and we will judge accordingly and choose the winner, runner up, and loser.

Road: 5) And finally... we accept bribes.

Tyki: Seriously?

Lavi: AWESOME! :{D

Road: Just kidding. 5) We're always available to help beta-read your fanfiction, but with a fee, of course.

Kanda: Now we have to pay? -.-

Road: Hey, help from us isn't free. And we have to earn money for our monthly shippings, you know. Magazines and CDs and posters and stuff.

Tyki: Oh, so that's why you complain for no space in your room...

Road: Before I forget! Prizes!

Lavi: There are even prizes? :{D

Road: Sure! Only for the winner, though. The winner gets: 1) The empty room next to Allen's for a week, 2) Free beta-reading service for the week, and 3) Awesome yaoi pick-up lines from us to try on Allen. How's that?

Kanda: Reasonable.

Lavi: You KIDDING, YUU-CHAN? THIS IS AWESOMEE! 8{D

Kanda: OI, BAKA USAGI, DON'T CALL ME THAT.

Tyki: But it's only for the WINNER.

Lavi: Yeah, so? O.o -insert mustache-

Tyki: The winner's DEFINITELY going to be me.

Road: -snicker- says the Noah who spelt stencil as stancer!

Tyki: That was just one time.

Road: Still. ROFL.

Kanda: What does that mean?

Lavi: Rolling On Floor Laughing. Seriously, Yuu, who would've known you're so outdated?

Kanda: BAKA! WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Road: Enough! So today's Sunday, isn't it? Your challenges will be issued tomorrow.

Tyki: Fair enough.

Kanda: Ok.

Lavi: It's aw-oon, may-an! It's awwooon!

Kanda: ?

Lavi: TRANSLATION: It's on, man! It's on!

Kanda: -.-

Road: Well, that's all for today. Lenalee and I need to check for any new updates. Ciao, guys.

Tyki: Come back in time for dinner, okay.

Road: Whatever~

Tyki: I mean it.

_Tyki _appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.__

___Road _appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.__

_Kanda _appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.__

_Lavi _appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.__

Miranda: Hey Krory, you still there? :)

Krory: huh? oh yeah.

Miranda: I can't wait to see what's going to happen. xD

Krory: lol yeah ikr? it's so crazy haha.

Miranda: See you later then! :) I'm going to grab some food from downstairs. :d

_Miranda __appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.___

Krory: k bye!

_____Krory _appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.__

* * *

><p><em><em>Meh. This chapter was so short - but that just seemed to end it, and the word count wasn't too short, and I somehow felt that I HAD to get this up and posted on Christmas (although it's still Eve on most parts of the world). <em>_

_That being said, Merry Christmas everyone!_

_'Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,_

_"Glory to God in the highest,_

_and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests."'_

_- __Luke 2:13-14 (New International Version)_

__I know everyone's writing Yullen Week now (which I wanted to participate in but lacked time and anyway I'm betaing Exile Wrath's stories so yeah I should shut up now) but I just decided to update my fic in the middle of nowhere! So if you're looking for comic relief: here it is.__

__(last sentence = not the right thing to say at the end of a chapter.)__

__Reviews would be awesome. Christmas present, maybe?__


	6. there are ways to get money, yaknow?

_Again. I haven't updated for incredibly long. I'M SO SORRY! Thanks for the reviewers and favouriters and you, who's reading - special thanks to Exile Wrath for getting me back on track of writing. Oh, and while I'm at that, do check out this Yullen I've cowritten with Exile Wrath and fanimeLex, posted in Exile's account. It's called EncountErs. :D _

_The story should be self-explanatory. I will thus shut up._

_DISCLAIMER: Don't own DGM._

* * *

><p>When Allen first opens his eyes after his many hours of sleep, he yawns, looks at his clock and goes back to sleep; the clock reads 6.30am. In his laziness, he fails to notice a red, heart-shaped-ish door materializing from nowhere in the middle of his room.<p>

When Allen opens his eyes again, maybe after another hour or so, he idly sits up in bed, and really OPENS HIS EYES, and finally discovers a notsouhmpleasant sight in his room.

Road and Lenalee are right there, seated on the floor, reading some weird manga by the name of Glamorous Lips, and nosebleeding.

The moment they notice Allen's awake, they jump up.

"Which do you prefer, chocolate or sweets?"

Answering by instinct, Allen immediately replies "Both."

"CHOOSE ONE!" they shout simultaneously, and the boy in bed gets shaken out of his drunken-like stupor.

"Uh, uh, uh," he stutters, racking his brains as he tries to come up with an answer. Frantically, he bites his lip. Then he comes to a realisation: technically, chocolates ARE sweets, right? So nervously, he replies,

"S-s-sww-swee-ts."

Instantly, Road's door appears, and they fling open the doors to disappear inside, leaving Allen to wonder what that was all about as he gets out of bed.

(the clock reads 6.45am.)

* * *

><p>Kanda's at the training room, meditating (lusting over youknowwho) in his emo corner, when BAM! out comes Road's door, and BAM! he's sucked into it.<p>

* * *

><p>Tyki's wondering what will happen today, when he gets the topic of the day, when BAM! out comes Road's door, and BAM! he's sucked into it.<p>

* * *

><p>Lavi's mugging at the library, because of some stupid test Bookman's going to give him later on, when BAM! out comes Road's door, and BAM! he's sucked into it.<p>

* * *

><p>They appear in a pitch black room, with a lit fireplace somewhere in the front of the room, but the light doesn't aid them in sight; instead, it's just this weird, crackling fire in the middle of nowhere. The fire's all they can see.<p>

Lero's voice comes over the speakers behind them, in a somewhat crackling form as well.

"Week 1 of the Fanfiction Competition. Your theme is Sweets."

Then, the fire in the fireplace ceases - and the fireplace opens to reveal a path of blinding bright light. But again, they still can't see each other, but keep walking in dumbstruck silence towards the light. It's a wonder none of them can speak.

The light's further away from them than they expected, and each can hear the other's breaths which comfort them because they know they're not alone. They keep walking. They don't talk. Maybe they can't? But the setting they're in is almost magical, it defies every law they can think of, and so they have to keep quiet. Something like that. They half-expect unicorns and rainbows to fly across that metre-long gap of light pouring in. Or something.

All of a sudden, the three boys feel their thoughts split from unity to their own, and they realise that they've been sharing thoughts.

Lavi realises that he doesn't seem to be getting any nearer to the light, and stands still on the floor, and realises that they're on separate treadmills going backwards.

And he finds his voice.

So do the other two, because all of a sudden he hears Kanda vulgaritying and Tyki threatening Road about all the things he can do with his butterflies, and Lavi decides to help the two poor guys.

"Uh, guys? Yuu-chan? Tyki-chan? We're on a treadmill. I don't think we're, uh, getting any closer to the light..."

AND THEN the treadmill changes direction and brings them TOWARDS the holy beam of light, and it starts increasing speed and gaining momentum, and WOAHWOAHWOAH is all the trio can think of, before

FOOOOOOOOM!

They're thrown OFF the threadmill, INTO the light and BACK doing what they were before entering the Door.

* * *

><p>Allen's rather surprised at the turn-up of people at their cafeteria table that day - neither Allen nor Kanda nor Lenalee are there, and so he shares a kind of awkward lunch with Krory and Miranda because they're not as talkative as the others are (excluding Kanda).<p>

When he's done, he decides to take a peep into each of their rooms, to see what's up and what they might be doing.

Lavi's room is first.

Hesitantly, Allen knocks on the door of the bedroom Lavi shares with Bookman, to see if he's inside. There's no answer, but Allen cracks open the door to take a little look, and finds it barren of living creatures except for micro organisms, which he can't see, but know it's there.

Then he goes to Kanda's room, and is about to knock, but feels Kanda's murderous aura in there. So he decides it's probably a wiser choice to keep the knuckles away from the door. He does hear a sound of furious scribbling, though.

When he gets within 10 metres of Lenalee's room, he already hears evil cackles, so he decides to back away as well.

Why are his friends so antisocial and unwelcoming today?

* * *

><p>Tyki's not having a very good time with writing everything. In fact, he's gone to his most inspirational place in the Ark - the akuma factory - and he still can't get anything flowing out of his pen from his marvellous and brainy brain.<p>

Sweets? What type of topic? Granted, it wasn't as bad as writing about... lions, for example, but still. The Noah was sure that Allen would never choose such a dumb topic like that. Allen'd probably choose something better, like Chocolate, or something like that. Sweets. Seriously. What to write about edible sugary stuff? Yuck! (Tyki was currently on a diet.) At least chocolate isn't that fattening. Not dark chocolate. And if the topic had been Chocolate, then he can write about Valentines Day, or something. People give more of chocolates rather than sweets for Valentine's. Right?

Even though he's trying really hard and desperately, he needs help. Proffesional help.

And so, with a sigh, he goes to his room, grabs his piggy bank (yes, it's a pig) and goes to look for Road. Besides, he just needs to pay once - if he wins this week's competition, and the weeks beyond, he gets free beta-reading service!

But of course, theoretically that's pretty impossible in the huge universe of the Ark and beyond, so with years of experience, he just says one word:

"Road."

And out appears the door, and out she appears!

"Seriously. I'm like some sort of fairy god-mother," Road grumbles as the doors open. "I was just in the middle of reading my new shipment of doujins, so you'd better make it quick."

Tyki takes a drag of his cigarette, and narrows his eyes into the sky. "I need help." His tone of voice indicates his reluctance in bending down to ask ROAD for help when he's the one tutoring her.

This is where Road's mouth curls into an evil smirk. "What for, dear Tyki?"

"...for the contest."

"Speak up~! I can't hear a thing~!"

"The contest! Okay?" Tyki's about to lose his cool pretty soon.

She smiles. "Gooood. I'll assume that you want the beta-reading service?"

"Yeah."

"Money up-front, please."

"How much?"

"As much as you think necessary! The more, the better our services."

"That sounded really wrong. Minimum price?"

"Because you're thinking wrong, baka-Tyki! Minimum price... No less than $60."

"Road, that is a LOT of money."

"And that's just the minimum! If you want a decent job done, that'll be at least $150."

Then Road adds the clincher:

"You love Allen, don't youuu~?"

That sells it. Tyki digs out $200 from his piggy bank, hands it over, and Road laughs as she pushes him into a door in the Ark.

* * *

><p>Lenalee has her business plan all laid out and ready as she heads to the library. The moment she enters, she announces in a way that Lavi can hear,<p>

"Wow, Kanda's story was amazing! I WONDER how Lavi's story is going to be?"

Lavi's not having a very good time with his story, and hearing that KANDA's doing better than him, he starts to get pretty nervous.

"So," Lenalee sweetly says as she reaches the future bookman's table, "How's your story coming along, Lavi-kun?"

"Ah... Great! Awesome! I've got it all planned out!"

"I took a course in psychology once, Lavi."

"Fine..." Lavi groans and rests his forehead in his palm. "Can't get anything really going. What's with the topic, anyways?"

She decides not to tell him that it was chosen by the person he's writing it for. "Would you like our helpful beta-reading services? We're always here to help, you know? At a fee."

It's now or never. "Fine! I'll have it!" he says in exasperation, all the excitement drained out of him. "Will $30 be enough?"

"$30? That's obviously too little. The minimum's $60! Or, if you want, $300 would provide you a very excellent service. The average is $150. But with $300, the quality of our help will be formidably raised!"

Lavi figures that a girl who uses such big words has got to be pretty good at what she's saying. And he DOES have enough money, after saving up for years. All he has to do is win the first competition, and get the free beta-reading service, and because of the free service he'll do well again, and it'll just keep spiraling upwards! Awesome!

"Okay then!" he cheers up a great deal. "I'll pay you now~!"

Lenalee knew that it was a good choice for choosing Lavi. "Sure! Thanks for being so easy to work with!"

After the transaction of money takes place, she sits down by Lavi, and they immediately start work on the writing.

* * *

><p>There's an annoying umbrella with a pumpkin on top that's magically appeared in Kanda's room. Just when he was trying to get into the writing spirit!<p>

"Lero! Lero!"

"GO AWAY, STUPID ANNOYING THING!"

"No, no, don't kill me..." Lero protests, as he starts sweating profusely. "I'm only here to ask if you need the beta-reading services!"

"Okay."

"What? Seriously? So soon?"

"But I'm paying $10 only."

"Lero... The minimum is $60..."

"Then $60."

"Huh? Huh?" By now, the umbrella feels like he's being drenched in perspiration. He never knew that convincing Kanda would be so easy. And he has a feeling that the murderous aura emitting from him is NOT something to be played with. "Uh, okay then, uh, Road-sama asked me to give you this..."

He passes over a notebook, and with a curt nod, Kanda opens it up, hands over the money, and Lero flees.

* * *

><p><em>The last bit was very very rushed. Terribly sorry. But I figured I had to get it done today, instead of never. OTL<em>

_Hope you enjoyed that chapter~! I know that the fanfic's moving at a pretty slow pace, without much plot progression, but the next time I update it'll be announcing the results. Who's going to win? Review/PM me who you want to win xD Or who you think will win. I think it's kind of evident (I mean, look at the amount of money each person paid!), but I'll try to surprise you. :D_

_Thanks again for reading! See you next time~!_


	7. ROUND 1

_OH GOSH THE LAST TIME I UPDATED WAS HOW LONG AGO_

_Around 3 months ago now. I'm extremely sorry for my lack of time-management and discipline. It's been so long since I've thought about this, and now that I have, I'm determined to make it up to you in length and quality and crack._

_Somehow. If I can._

_Enjoy!_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM._

* * *

><p>It's finally Sunday, the end of that long, torturous week, and the stories are submitted via email to the fabulous duo to tabulate the scores.<p>

Road and Lenalee are sprawled on the floor of Lenalee's room, staring at her Macbook's screen with amusement. Saturday was the deadline, and unfortunately for them, no one was late - that meant no one was disqualified this round, aww! Kanda's was the first to be sent in, followed by Lavi's, followed by Tyki's, all at borderline deadline time, with Tyki's coming in at 23:59:58.

"Didn't Tyki pay a good sum for beta-reading?" Lenalee asks, as they wait for the Word files to download into her computer. "Why d'you think he sent in his story last?"

Road smirks. "I know he doesn't show it, but he's pretty perfectionist, as far as I can tell, and he was probably double checking it for hours before sending it in," she rolls over to her right and gazes up at the ceiling. "Wonder who's going to win. You betting on anyone?"

"I really don't know - Lavi paid the most, so I did manage to give him a pretty good plot and other phrases and whatnot, but Kanda might surprisingly overtake both of them with all that bottled energy from meditating WAY too much."

The documents flash up on the screen one by one, and their attention is once again pulled back to the screen, Road's chin resting on her palms, Lenalee's eyes glinting at the submissions.

"So we have Kanda's, who sent in his first."

"Mmmm," Road laughs and kicks her legs up in the air behind her. "Can't wait."

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

"So I guess I should read this book of trash that I paid $60 for," Kanda muttered to himself as the weird pumpkin umbrella fled.

He flipped to the first page and began reading.

1) YOUR TITLE AND SUMMARY

The importance of them are that these give the first impression to the reader.

The title would being significant and relevant to the story in some way. The title will describe also the nature of the piece, like "The Big Bad Wolf" clearly stating a childish book or something by it's format alone. Also, titles may be a small part from the story itself, like "To Kill A Mockingbird", or it might also be a seemingly insignificant item in the story. It can also be the context itself, like "The Lord Of The Rings" It's simply up to you to decide a title that is striking and fitting to the story.

The summary is not the story in a nutshell, because then the ending will be given away. The summary describes the problem, or the main character, or anything to give the reader a first understanding of what the story might be about. The summary should make the reader want to read more and actually open the book to get to the inside. Take pride in your summary, and don't do some half-assed job on it because a lot of people DO judge a book by it's cover. What's the context? Where's the problem? While you write your description, also make sure that you don't let on too much to your audience.

2) YOUR PLOT

It's vital to have a good plot. Good plots mean plots that are not cliched and overused, they mean a build up of events to the climax where it's really THE climax. Coming up with plots are up to you, but it's impossible to write a story without a plot. Just saying. Come up with your beginning, climax and ending before you get started on it.

3) EVENTS CENTERED AROUND YOUR PLOT

It's impossible to write something good if all there is is a beginning middle and end. What causes this to happen so that this happens so that this happens so that the climax is reached? You need to make steps to the top. These events are mostly problems that arise and solutions that arrive. Other than problem-causing events that happen, there are also events which are of not much relevance to the plot, but help inform the reader of the mood, environment, or character better. All these events are important. Also, when you've reached your climax, make sure you don't end your story right there, but do write the resolution and how it all ends.

Kanda flips to the next page, and is greeted with a huge

**WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO READ THE REST OF THE BOOK BECAUSE YOU ONLY BOUGHT THE $60 COPY. **

**:P**

Immediately enraged, especially by the completely unnecessary and uncalled for emoticon that DARES to stick out it's disgusting and filthy tongue at Kanda, he unsheathes Mugen and prepares to slice the book into pieces before he realises...

Damn. He paid $60 for that. For that worthless piece of shit.

Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly a worthless piece of shit - before he read that, he had no idea how on earth to write a fanfiction, and that not-so worthless piece of shit gave him an idea on what he was supposed to write. Something about a title and a summary and then a series of events from beginning to end with some sort of high point that the story should be centered on.

Still slightly annoyed, he growled at the book, tossed his sword on the bed, and opened both his laptop (to write the story itself) and his notebook (to scribble ideas and doodle if need be), and activated the mode he never knew he had:

FAN-FICTION WRITING MODE.

* * *

><p><span>Sweets In My Locker<span>

by Kanda Yuu

SUMAMRY: Allen keeps finding sweets in his locker. 

"It is the fourth day that someone has mysteriously put sweets in my locker." Allen Walker sighed kawaiily while sparkles started surrounding him, as he took the sweets out from his locker in the hallway. He was honoured that someone would care to give him sweets everyday. However, the person who was giving him the sweets pretty much had no hope. The moyashi had his eyes set on the school senior, Kanda Yuu, who had long silky hair and was the most sugoi in school, and it was most likely not Kanda Yuu who was going so low to give a commoner like him sweets. He headed up to class, not seeing the forementioned senior who was peeking from the dustbin in the corner to see how his moyashi, the love of his life, had reacted. Unfortunately, the dustbin had been too enclosed for the raven-haired bishounen to hear what Allen was saying.

The next day, the moyashi and his best friend, Lenalee, were going to the lockers. "I wonder who your secret admirer is, Allen!" Lenalee squealed, as they moved down the corridor to get their things for the next class. The moyashi stopped in his tracks as they were nearing their lockers as he noticed Kanda walk to his locker and drop something in, before walking off coolly like a boss. Was Kanda his secret admirer? Lenalee saw that as well, and got the same idea. "Maybe it is your crush, Kanda Yuu, who's giving you the sweets!" She squealed again. Inside, moyashi's kokoro was going doki doki. Maybe it really was him! When he opened his locker, the sweets fell out. The sweets were definitely not there the last time the moyashi had checked the locker, which was barely two hours ago, before his first class. It was almost hard to believe, but the truth was there in plain sight. Was he going to believe his eyes? Obviously he had to.

The next day, the moyashi got to his locker early, before Kanda came, in order to confront the senior. He really wanted to know if it was Kanda. He also did not want to get his hopes up in case they would be crushed. Soon, he spotted a tall, long-haired teenager walking down the hallway like a boss, and started swooning, before realising that he was in plain sight. The moment Kanda saw moyashi, they both widened their eyes. "Is it you who is giving me the sweets?" Moyashi nervously asked. Moyashi looked at Kanda's hand, which was holding the sweets tightly, and realised that it indeed was Kanda who was his secret admirer! Kanda found that very moe of moyashi. Solemnly, he said "Moyashi-chan, you make my kokoro go doki doki." Kanda immediately slammed moyashi against the lockers and gave him a deep kiss which involved a lot of tongue work. The moyashi's lips were so soft like feathers. After the kiss, they stared at each other, and moyashi gave Kanda a big hug. They became boyfriends and loved each other for the rest of their lives.

THE END.

* * *

><p>"I think Kanda really outdid himself."<p>

"Agreed. I never expected that he could write so descriptively!"

"I like how he portrayed himself confessing himself to Allen. The whole repetition of the 'kokoro going doki doki'."

"The match between their feelings!"

"And the ending was so heartfelt. I think it really gripped the readers' attentions."

"Yep. I think that fanfic was a big success. Lavi's?"

"Lavi's."

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

Lenalee had spent around 3 hours with Lavi, as they brainstormed together about the plot and side events and other technical stuff. Even though she was being extremely helpful and stuff, he couldn't help but keep reminding himself that he was paying a bomb for this. But it was kinda worth it.

They had written a line before Lenalee had to go... wherever she had to go, and so he was left on his own.

"At least I did get enough help to continue the story by myself," he rubbed his head, fingers hovering over the keyboard. He had the whole idea grasped, and he knew where the plot was going, but he just didn't know HOW to write it.

On the plus side, his English was good, and all the backstage stuff had already been done with Lenalee.

On the down side, he just couldn't bring himself to write. Anything.

The story wouldn't be too long at all, instead really kinda short, and actually void of much conflicts. Not even much romance. Something a little easier and stuff. Lavi had no idea why, but he really couldn't bring himself to write a lot of romance just yet. An AU where Lavi was working in a bookstore and Allen was the boy who went there everyday after school. Angst? Lenalee had asked him when Lavi suggested that idea. He decided to see how it'd go.

Two possible endings: 1) happy or 2) sad.

"Oh, and remember," Lenalee had said as she was getting ready to go, "Don't worry so much about how it'll turn out yet. Just start writing. And if it's suckish at the end, write the whole thing again. Trial and error, yeah?"

With a sigh, he picked one of the endings, and started doing just that.

* * *

><p><span>So It Goes On<span>

by Lavi

SUMMARY: Lavi is the one who works at the bookstore, and Allen is the one who loves reading. 

Lavi looks up from the counter as the door closes, and his eyes light up when he sees Allen step in.

"Hey," he casually says as the kid walks over. "School ended early today?"

"You could say that," Allen cheerfully replies, a grin dancing across his face. "And meanwhile, you're still hanging around, waiting for your exam results to be released. Which college were you planning on entering, by the way?"

The cashier sighs. "Nothing too fancy. I'm not very sure yet... I don't think I'm smart enough for any of the other prestigious schools."

"Yeah right! Aren't you, like, the smartest guy from your school or something?"

Lavi winks at the shorter boy. "Maybe."

They laugh together, and someone in the store irritably goes "shh!", so they shut up and Allen goes to take a look at the books on the racks, while Lavi gets back to his usual business.

About three hours later, Allen emerges from his own corner, and makes his way to the counter.

"Going home?"

"Yep," Allen replies. Before he goes out the door, he suddenly remembers something, and gets something out from his pocket.

"By the way, Lavi, do you like sweets?"

"Haha, yeah, why?"

At this, the albino hands the candy in his hand over. "Got this in school. Friend was giving them out. And I'm kinda allergic to this sort of thing."

"Allergic? You, the guy who eats everything?"

"Shut up!" Allen sticks out his tongue at Lavi. "Gotta run. Bye!"

"Later!"

The redhead had been harbouring a crush on Allen for a while now. Lavi was about 3 years older than Allen. And despite the slight age gap, Lavi had been feeling some sort of attraction to Allen over the time they had known each other.

When he got home, he went straight to his bedroom, carefully unwrapped the sweet, and popped it in his mouth.

And he couldn't help but think even more about the other guy.

That piece of candy was pretty sweet.

The following day, Allen pushed open the door to the bookstore, this time with a perky looking girl behind him.

Lavi instantly knew that was bad luck.

Swallowing the feeling of impending doom in his throat, he pasted a smile on his face as they came up to him. "Hey, Allen, reeled in some fish today?"

The other male blushed. "Lavi, this is Saki," he introduced, as the mentioned girl beamed at him and waved.

"Girlfriend?"

"..."

"I knew it," he breezily answered his own question, pretending to be preoccupied in something else like doodling pokemon all over receipts. "Don't have to be so shy. No kissing, no having sex, and have a good time here~!"

Thank goodness they didn't hear the sarcasm in his voice, as they both turned red and as Allen pulled Saki towards the bookshelves. That girl- she didn't know how lucky she was.

He sat there for the rest of the day, wondering what might have happened if.

If.

* * *

><p>There is a pause.<p>

"..."

"..."

And then they start LOLing, which grows into ROFLing, which grows into LMAOing, which grows into ROFLMAOing, which grows into LSHTRSAing (laughing so hard that rainbows start appearifying) and eventually they stop laughing when the rainbow fairy comes to take away the rainbows because she has gotten bored of watching them laugh.

They finish reading the story at 12.52am.

They finish laughing at 2am.

Lenalee gets back to her senses first, being the younger one and all that. "Roaaaad! All that time wasted! We're supposed to be done with marking all these at 3!"

"Really? What a pity."

"Any comments on that fine piece of comedy?"

"You know, Lenalee, something tells me that what Lavi wrote wasn't meant to be funny..."

"Nah, doubt it. I mean, if it was actually meant to be serious, it really must have failed as a fanfic."

"But that was the most priceless piece of humor fanfic I've ever read!"

"I think I've read more hilarious writings, but the fact that Lavi wrote it made it all the more amazing."

"You have a point. Gosh, I really have a good feeling that Lavi's going to win."

"Let's not make any hasty decisions, shall we?"

"Sureeeee. Let's go read Tyki-pon's now~!"

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

It was around his 7th time proofreading and editing the story - Tyki was determined to get his story to be the ultimate best. I mean, he already spent so much money on getting Road (mumblegrumble) to help him out. And she did, quite a good amount, but she'd only spent an hour with him before getting up and disappearing through her door. Ugh.

He was rather comforted when he realised that there wasn't much of a problem after the story structure was set, because he did have good grammar and a formidable vocabulary, but

he realised that he was competing against Lavi, the smartest of the smartest.

"ohshitohshitohshit" he mumbled to himself as he rummaged around for his laptop, which he promptly found because it was on the table in front of him.

7 more hours to the deadline. 7 times to proofread. Once an hour.

Tyki was pretty sure that with his perfectionism and stuff, he'd at least be up to Lavi's rank or something. I mean, Kanda was so silent and stuff, and surely he can't have paid so much for the beta-reading services because he didn't seem like the sort to care. No, his main rival was Lavi now.

_The first time_ he went through the story, he picked out all the grammar and punctuation mistakes, did a little more of paragraphing and inserting complex words.

_The second time_ he went through the story, he inserted witty lines.

_The third time_ he went through the story, he corrected some tenses and described a lot of the actions more elaborately.

_The fourth time_ he went through the story, he added in more vocabulary.

_The fifth time_ he went through the story, he added more small events into the story.

_The sixth time_ he went through the story, he did another grammer/punctuation check.

And _the seventh time_ he went through the story, he read it again and said it was good.

* * *

><p><span>Explanatory Paradox<span>

by Tyki Mikk

Summary: Self-explanatory.

(A/N: for an idea of what Tyki wrote, go here: http:/yvsevolod-26 . narod . ru/yvseva/PERRICONE1001 . pdf just without the spaces.)

* * *

><p>The two judges look at each other blankly.<p>

"I don't read Russian. Do you read Russian?"

"I thought that was Czech?"

"Or maybe Ukrainian."

"Funny how the words looked like it was written in English, though."

"Let's put it through Google Translate."

They do, and when they copy the text and paste it in, they realise that it is indeed written in English. So they try reading it again.

It fails.

Lenalee looks over at the time on the screen. 2.27am. They get down to business.

"Marking shouldn't take a long time. Let's evaluate the three different factors."

* * *

><p><span>1) LANGUAGE<span>

2) CONTENT

3) RELEVANCE TO TOPIC

**KANDA**

LANGUAGE: 8/10

side note from judges: Phrasing of words a bit awkward at times, but points for use of otaku terms.

CONTENT: 9/10

side note from judges: Plot was short and sweet. Not much climax, but you managed to pull it off in the end.

RELEVANCE TO TOPIC: 10/10

side note from judges: Amazing, straight-forward use of candy, and romance was very much evident.

TOTAL: 27/30

**LAVI**

LANGUAGE: 9/10

side note from judges: Simple but smooth use of language.

CONTENT: 10/10

side note from judges: Humour was extremely humorous. Interesting AU.

RELEVANCE TO TOPIC: 8/10

side note from judges: Candy seemed slightly unnecessary in this fic. It's supposed to be ABOUT candy rather than CONTAINING candy. But oh what the hey we'll give you 8/10 because it's still okay.

TOTAL: 27/30

**TYKI**

LANGUAGE: 3/10

side note from judges: You were trying too hard to act smart. Story was hardly readable.

CONTENT: 1/10

side note from judges: Was it even a story?

RELEVANCE TO TOPIC: 0/10

side note from judges: After a whole lot of times of rereading, we finally got the gist of your story. It was about Rocket Science. In other words, we didn't get it.

TOTAL: 4/30

**OVERALL NOTE FROM JUDGES: **

Since there was a tie between Kanda and Lavi, you both will have to share prizes, which means:

1) The empty room next to Allen's will either have both of you living in together, or someone gets 4 days living in it and the other gets 3 days living in it.

2) The free beta-reading service will go like this: Road will be assisting both of you at the same time, like in a school. Thus, you both will learn the same things, but she will be free for consultation if you wish to have her advice on your half-completed work.

3) Yaoi pick-up lines will go in first-come-first-serve format. We will meet you some time soon together, and we will give you the pick-up lines, and it will then be a matter of who uses them first.

* * *

><p>Lenalee then emails the above section of text to each of the contestants, snaps shut the cover of the laptop, and lays back on the floor, stretching her arms up above her.<p>

"Finally we're done with this shit." Road says, yawning. "Say, can I crash in your bedroom? I don't want to have to face the wrath of Tyki."

Lenalee tilts her head. "Sure, but isn't Tyki always cool in pretty much every situation?"

"His aura. Even after so long living with him it creeps me out," she replies, shuddering. "Gives me the heebie-jeebies."

The taller girl pauses, smiles, and lazily she drags herself to the bed. "We have 21 hours before the next week of crazy fanfictioning begins. Better make the best of it."

"Trudat. I'm out. Peace."

With that, they both fall into a deep, deep, sleep, while the three dudes are up, huddled in their own rooms in their own pillow forts, waiting for the email to arrive,

and it does.

* * *

><p><em>Hope you liked that last chapter! :D<em>

_I'm sorry that I couldn't exactly write out Tyki's part, but I just had no idea how to write and pull off that sort of thing, so I decided Google Scholar would aid me the best in a reference for you guys._

_Kanda and Lavi still have some issue over the whole prize-sharing thing, so review or PM me who you want to get priority over prizes and I'll see which pairing got the most votes and next chapter you'll see a little more of that pairing ;) (ohgosh that was a long sentence)_

_Also, sorry about any OOCness. Haven't read DGM in some time. Which reminds me, latest chapter is out. (was out some time ago but w/e)_

_I'm out too._


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